NSA doesn’t mean Nice Sweet Ass, unfortunately.

 

Online dating, especially in London, is essentially another full-time job these days. Between getting catfished, ghosted, cushioned, breadcrummed and zombied, you’re somehow expected to actually find love through an endless series of apps, including Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, Hinge, Happn and Scruff.

It sure ain’t easy. And what really doesn’t help that struggle is the fact that many users of these apps – in particular, it has to be said, the ones for gay gentlemen – use numerous codes to convey information about themselves – and what they’re looking for – which can leave new browsers confused and lost after logging in.

Do schools need to add Tinder speak to the GCSE language syllabus alongside French and German?! Alas, you needn’t worry. London X has created a handy guide to help you understand some of the more popular codes that naughtier subscribers of dating apps are using in 2019, so you don’t end up agreeing to anything you’ll later regret.

 

 

Drugs

 

Dealing drugs on the street is, like, so last year. These days, many dealers find it a lot easier to sell their substances through dating apps. Grindr, in particular, is a hotbed for this. Of course, you can’t just go around with a profile that reads TWO GRAMS OF COKE FOR SALE! As such, this evolving industry has developed codes that you might want to look out for, in case you really are looking for an actual partner. After all, you don’t want to end up meeting Dave from Clapham for a drink – thinking it’s true love – when really he just wants £50 in cash in exchange for a bag of weed, do you?

 

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addicted to you 👅 (📸: @alexsphotographe)

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T

This T means, Tina, which is slang for Crystal Meth.

Not to be confused with: Ticklish. Easily confused. But they don’t want a tickle, they want to sell you meth, or, sometimes, do meth with you. And if you want to keep your T-for-teeth, maybe avoid these profiles. Which brings us nicely to…

 

PNP

This means: Party and Play. And party doesn’t mean a game of Twister and a bag of onion rings. It usually refers, instead, to chemsex, which is the art of taking drugs with the intention to have sex while off-yer-tits on them, sometimes in groups.

Not to be confused with: Portable North Pole, a service which offers personalized messages from Santa Claus. Very few dating app users are probably referring to their love of this service if they’re into PNP on their profile. Very few, if any…

 

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¿Cuánto sabes sobre #CHEMSEX? 🍑🍆🍑🍆 El miércoles 27 de marzo nuestros compañeros Carlos García Gomáriz y José Manuel Canales Fernández (@canalesviajes) participan en el Primer Foro de Debate Chemsex de la Comunidad Valenciana, en una conferencia que abordará el impacto de las #TICs y la prevalencia de #adicciones por esta práctica. Mientras tanto, os invitamos a conocer nuestro servicio de atención a personas que consumen #drogas para mantener relaciones sexuales . . . #gay #gayvalencia #sesion #fiesta #instaboy #instagay #bareback #ff #cf #cocaina #speed #mefedrona #metanfetamina #poppers #ketamina #grindr #wapo #scruff #lgtbi #valenciabears #valencia #comitevlc #ComiteXXX

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HH

Similarly, HH means High and Horny. Which is exactly what it says on the tin. These folks are high and, yep, you got it, horny as hell.

Not to be confused with: Helly Hansen. A Norwegian producer of textiles and sports gear. Their lawyers must be fuming.

 

420 Friendly

This one means weed. Not selling though, normally, it instead means the person wants to get high and red-eyed with you. It’s called 420 because April 20th in America is considered an occasion for celebrating the smoking of cannabis, after the idea was originated, sort of, by the Waldos gang in 1971. That’s some gooood shit, right?

Not to be confused with: People who are seeking out a lover that looks 420 years old. You’d have had to have smoked a lotta weed to make that mistake…

 

The Diamond Emoji.

This is another code for crystal meth. (How many codes do these meth dealers need?!)

Sometimes it also means ‘escort,’ which surely causes no end of hilarious mix ups for people.

Not to be confused with: A man who wants to buy you lots of diamonds. Sadly, these are slim on the ground on Hinge.

 

The Snowflake Emoji

This means: Looking to sell cocaine. You know, because coke looks like snow? This code not only crosses the line, but fully intends to snort it too.

Not to be confused with: Advertising yourself as a Snowflake. The fact you’re on Bumble is already probably quite a giveaway regarding your ‘sensitive millenial’ status.

 

 

Sex-for-sale

Some users definitely like to mix business with pleasure on their apps… Don’t end up falling for someone you’ll later be billed for!

 

Generous?

Yes, it’s a question. But when someone asks you on a dating app if you’re ‘generous,’ they’re usually asking if you’re willing to pay for sex. Charming…

Not to be confused with: Asking if you are genuinely generous. Do you like to buy your sweetheart flowers from M&S that aren’t even discounted? Do you go for red wine at Sainsbury’s that isn’t the cheapest plonk? That might make you generous, but not the kind of generous they mean, unfortunately. Cash up front, unfortunately.

 

Discreet

This usually refers to straight men – a term we’re using loosely – looking for sex with other men, or T (trans individuals, not Tina) on gay apps. They might also refer to themselves as ‘open-minded’ or on the DL. (Down Low.) They often don’t have profile pictures and highly value confidentiality.

Not to be confused with: Someone who is just very good at keeping secrets. Although often that will be the case too.

And, it should be noted, DL should also not be confused with Dog Lover. You’re barking up the wrong tree there, matey.

 

So… does that make things any clearer? No?

Well, if it’s all too much you could always go outside and, you know, meet someone IRL? That’s In Real Life.

Not to be confused with: The Indy Racing League. Totally different thing.